No step is too small. There is only now.
On my ‘life goals’ list from 2004 is to write a book.
Words stream through my head at all times. In there (my mind), they are beautiful, fluid, meaningful. But my hands are always full, never free to pen them down.
I’m torn. I practice letting go. Letting go of the words, the sentences, the stories. Having faith they will come back when the time is right. Having faith that perhaps they will be even better then. But passion is hard to put off. It does not take kindly to being second place. It is not reasonable and logical.
So I will begin. Again. And again if need be. I will let go of perfection and just write. The fragments, the incomplete stories, the random. I will trust that, indeed, they will come together into something we call a book. And if not, I will at least have written.
December 20, 2015 at 3:05 am
I relate deeply to I will begin, again and again. You are a writer cousin and always will be, the depth of your connection needs it like air. I find that life requires us to recommit more than not. Beginning again means I forgive myself and I’m all in. It means that I haven’t arrived to my final destination yet and I surrender that I have more transformation ahead. It’s powerful, empowering and inspiring just to hear I’m not the only one continuing time and time again to beginning.
How funny you should write about uninterrupted time the same day I should write Auntie what I would give to have an uninterrupted hour with either my Mom, Rudy… You. All too myself one hour where we could hold each other, cry, laugh, heal and rebirth. You are an amazing soul who feels deeply, lives passionately and gives incredibly. You mean so much to so many and give perspective and guiding light in such a nonjudgmental and compassionate way. I adore you, I treasure your stories and maybe what you find is all these stories will come together as my ten days to heal and the book will then be made. When it is time I will do all in my power to support your dream, it will profoundly change the world. Love you with all I am!
December 20, 2015 at 3:37 am
Go for it, Dorcas! You have the makings of a great memoir!